Ellen Pao: Making a Difference, One Frivolous Lawsuit at a Time

When some people hear the terms Ellen Pao and Frivolous Lawsuit in the same breath, their minds go to Ellen’s husband and better half, Alphonse “Buddy” Fletcher Jr.  Nice man, nice man.  Made a fortune in filing frivolous racial discrimination lawsuits (reference below:).

So now that you have good-guy Buddy’s background and you know that he’s the better half of the two, let’s dive in, lift up the skirt, and grab Ellen Pao by the ego, shall we?  And here. We. Go.

1). 

Making a difference?  Yup, Reddit community really loved her.  This woman has followers?!?  WTF?!?  I thought only Mohamed El-Erian and Jeff Bezos had followers.  Like most people, her only power lies in you remaining a willing audience.  Walk away and this woman has nothing.  Secondly, HER MIDDLE INITIAL IS “K”?!?  K. Pao? Really?!?

There!  How is it, feeling like the in-house counsel at Kleiner Perkins?  Just a barrage of fucking letters and lawsuits from very ambitious and very disgruntled Ellen K-Pao.

2). 

Ugh, skills and endorsements.  I’ll refrain as I have good pals who do this but it’s taking me a fair amount of restraint.  Anyway.  Back to EP, Phone Gender Discrimination Lawyer.  Her first skill is strategic partnership.  I literally cannot think of a single more strategic partnership than sleeping around the office to climb the corporate ladder, which she did…with a married coworker.  And she still fucked that up.  Alas, it turns out her sleeping around was with the wrong individual(s).  Evidently, Yellin’ Ellen fails to understand how to sleep around with the “right” senior partners.  Dock her a second round interview for overexaggerating her ability to execute on strategic partnerships and for lying on her LinkedIn page.

3). 

That’s just the problem, Mark: she’s crammed but it was with the wrong partner!  Don’t you get it?  She’s never going to make senior investment professional until she puts out with the “right” person.  And Vittorio, dude, we all know that Pao is going to be analytical but we know for a fact that she’s absolutely not a pleasure – hence the missed promotions!

The title of “corporate whistleblower” sounds a lot hotter than it is, just ask Ajit Nazre’s sushi slammer.

Also, destined to be a leader in her industry?  This part could be true. She’s one of the first women in VC.  She’s a canary in the coal mine.  I’d even go as far as to call her a guinea pig if I didn’t think she’d go and bite into herself.

4). 

That’s it?  That’s all Carl gets?  She spent more time with her coworker’s balls in her mouth than she did helping a close friend.  Great gal.  I suppose it’s on to the next deep pocketed employer.

Song of the Day (6/21/2017)

I was out motoring when an oldie from 1982 came on that I felt I needed to share with my reader(s, if you count me): it’s Goodbye to You by Scandal.  The music video is incredible so take the time to watch it.  I’m waiting for the day this gets released on Guitar Hero or Rock Band because holy cow is this catchy.  I’m also waiting for the light-hearted cover by Mo Thugs:

Surely the Compton community has fond memories of Reagan’s 1980s.  Speaking of which, I spotted two of my favorite things on my way to my hotel this week:

Speaking of hotel stays, I have a message for the front desk and the room cleaning staff: I don’t care if I’m only staying one night, one and a half rolls of TP is a BIG ask by management.  I’d wipe my gooch with the comforter if I didn’t think I’d get pregnant.

Fortunately I was able to avert crisis by stopping at a McDonalds to pinch off a fresh loaf.  The men’s and women’s rooms only had one stall each and both had a line so I was told to use the mixed bathroom located directly next to the seating area.  After downing four pills of senna lax that morning, I had serious concerns that the tectonic tremors pushing their way through my colon would be heard by innocent diners sitting 7 to 8 feet away from my trembling anus.  I felt my rectum violently shifting and had real concerns that the noises would easily penetrate the two inch door gap at the floor…but as fate would have it, the gods were smiling upon me that day.  There was no flatulence of which to speak…it was all liquid!  Literally pissing out of my ass – and nary a suspicion or eyebrow raised.  They thought I was peeing!  It seems my free trucker’s New Testament was a blessing:

And finally, my Arrested Development reference for the day:

Pascal’s Wager Paying Off Big League!!!

The driver of this Toyota Avalon really pulled a fast one on the old man upstairs!

This man wagered…wisely. 

Also, disregard the Flyin’ Hawaiian on my dash.  She serves as a constant reminder of my white privilege.

Speaking of cars facts, I guarantee you this guy insists on driving a stick:

And finally, this man has been lining the pockets of his shareholders for years…KA-CHINGGGGG!!!

The Universal Phenomenon of [People] Interrupting [People]

Here’s the article: The Universal Phenomenon of Men Interrupting Women

Here are the videos of Kamala Harris and her cronies taking hypocrisy to an astonishing new level: 1) Montage: Harris Interupting Sessions; 6-13-2017 and 2) Senator Interrupted by Chair in Two Hearings (with my father, it’s the vision – mom’s housekeeper?…GOB’s girlfriend).

Now I’ll tell you right now that I don’t like Jeff Sessions.  But this hypocritical bullshit has to be stopped.  It’s getting old.  Really old.  Going forward, for each comment that Arianna Huffington makes on this subject, I’m going to interupt two female colleagues…twice.

Can we also admire just how Greek Arianna appears?  It’s like what’s going to happen first, Greek hits the debt ceiling or Arianna hits the glass ceiling?  Stay tuned…

Arrested Development Spottings (6/15/2017)

Diving in head first…like Pete Rose.  Came across various items in the last week that have reminded me of the greatest show on earth:

1)  126 A Cross (across from where?)

2)  22 Across

3)  See Last Sentence

And finally and separately, congratulations to the Golden State Warriors for toppling the Columbus Cav… the Cincinnati Cav… the Cleveland Cavaliers.  I think Cleveland learned an important lesson this week following their paying up for Lebron: you can’t buy happiness… unless it’s bought in front of Tower City Center and 1) comes in a 50mg pill or 2) comes in a purple weave.

Song of the Day (6/9/2017)

Happy Friday!  Today, we celebrate Comey’s testimony and Trump’s victory over democracy, so the song of the day is some good old fashioned pump-up music.  It’s Do You Love Me by The Contours.  Your darling Disillusioned Dilettante was camping in Southeastern Ohio last week and came across some not-so progressive sites:

And a new slogan for the Duke lacrosse team:

It’s North Carolina so feel free to keep the slogan AND the horse-fucker.

Meanwhile, Illinois residents actually have their shit together:

Some good news for Subway fans as well as for Subway spokesmen not allowed within 25 yards of children in the restaurant:

And finally, something that’s actually pretty neat.  For my millionaire friends shopping at Pier 1:

Revised Song of The Day (6/6/2017)

No one liked my Robin Hood Men in Tights reference in that last post?  For shame.  How obscure do you need me to get?!?  My references are spot on, guys.  Come on!


But the greater shame lies in me fucking up the song on the 73rd anniversary of D-Day.  Today’s song of the day is in dedication to all those who serve and protect the freedoms and liberties that we enjoy and love so much.  It’s A Soldier’s Pledge by Ronald Reagan.