Russell’s Teapot

Some of you may be familiar.  Some of you may not.  The following is taken from “Is There a God?” by Bertrand Russell (commissioned by, but never published in, Illustrated Magazine, in 1952).

“Many orthodox people speak as though it were the business of sceptics to disprove received dogmas rather than of dogmatists to prove them. This is, of course, a mistake. If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.”


Fuck Nelly Furtardo

Fuck Nelly (Michael Bluth?  There’s a Nellie waiting for you at the end of the bar.) Furtado and her misandrist bullshit.

Gee wiz, with a narcissistic, overly aggressive anti-male message like that, she’d have to stay attractive. Ope, OHHHHH SHITTT!!!!

I’ve never seen someone forced to enter Grauman’s Chinese Theatre one hip(po) at a time.  That ass.  It looks like a couple of hippos wrestling under a circus tent.  I didn’t realize the “Man” in Maneater was a euphemism for craft service.  I gotta steal one from Rodney here: she’s so fat, every time she wears high heals she strikes oil.  Hopefully that’s the end of it.  Then BOOM!!!!

First off, love the dress.  The universe called, it’s missing it’s backdrop.  Secondly, what a wonderful haircut.  I guess this means Big Nelly has graduated from eating men to munching on rug?

“The lion is most handsome when looking for food” – Rumi.  Nelly the Belly must have two-carat diamonds oozing out of her pores (A million fucking diamonds!) and portraits of John Stamos dropping from her anus.

Nelly could stand to learn a thing or two from Chestie, who seems to have fully grasped life’s more salient ambitions.  Although, her hip looks more like a plexor (used by doctors to test muscle reflexes) than a part of the human body.  I’ll continue to chat with Chest (we have cute little nicknames for each other) and keep readers abreast of any updates.

(Evidently I’ve been harboring this one for years, patiently waiting for Nelly’s thyroid or pointer finger to give out)

The Original Consecration

Take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is His Body, which will be given up for you… Take this, all of you, and drink from it, for this is the offering of His Meat, the Meat of the new and eternal covenant which will be pulled out for you and for many for the forgiveness of political and economic ignorance. Do this in memory of Him.

Reagan be praised.

Random Bidtits (8/15/2016)

Ahhhhhh, salaam, and good evening to you, worthy friend.  Please, please, come closer.

To begin this evening, here is easily one of the greatest family guy bits of all time.  All part of the liberal left’s gay agenda/attack on the family/kitchen table.

Did you hear the one about the guy with five penises?  His pants fit like a glove.

Finally, here’s an iconic actor on the right who’s identical to a random tinder floozy (who tells me she’s educated and maybe even a bit ambitious, too):

For those of you who made it past by usually slurry of bullshit, here is a great commencement address from Jim Carrey given in 2014; or feel free to listen to just the highlights of the speech here.

Finally, new product idea for the next iPhone launch: include a finely tuned scale on the back of the phone as well as, fuck it, throw a Mercury thermometer on there for the next time we walk into the pool/hot tub without checking our fucking pockets.  Not bitter.  Definitely not bitter…