Fuck Nelly (Michael Bluth? There’s a Nellie waiting for you at the end of the bar.) Furtado and her misandrist bullshit.
Gee wiz, with a narcissistic, overly aggressive anti-male message like that, she’d have to stay attractive. Ope, OHHHHH SHITTT!!!!
I’ve never seen someone forced to enter Grauman’s Chinese Theatre one hip(po) at a time. That ass. It looks like a couple of hippos wrestling under a circus tent. I didn’t realize the “Man” in Maneater was a euphemism for craft service. I gotta steal one from Rodney here: she’s so fat, every time she wears high heals she strikes oil. Hopefully that’s the end of it. Then BOOM!!!!
“The lion is most handsome when looking for food” – Rumi. Nelly the Belly must have two-carat diamonds oozing out of her pores (A million fucking diamonds!) and portraits of John Stamos dropping from her anus.
Nelly could stand to learn a thing or two from Chestie, who seems to have fully grasped life’s more salient ambitions. Although, her hip looks more like a plexor (used by doctors to test muscle reflexes) than a part of the human body. I’ll continue to chat with Chest (we have cute little nicknames for each other) and keep readers abreast of any updates.