But first. Read a good one today: Two jews find out that Hitler walks past a certain alley every morning at 8am. So they decide to wait in the alley and kill Hitler and save the world. They get to this alley at 5am and wait…6am…they wait. 7am…they wait. 8am…still no Hitler. So they decide to wait a bit more. 9am…11am…2pm…4pm… At this point one turns to the other and says, “I hope he’s okay!”
I like that one – will use it from now on. These not-terribly-offensive jokes are always worth a hearty shekel.
Separately, I came across the following sign last weekend in America’s heartland.
I was SO FUCKING tempted to knock on their front door and tell them of the time when a close friend was rolling joints in a hotel room, ran out of rolling papers, and proceeded to rip a page from the Bible for his next joint. That’s a true story.
I’m miffed, no, livid, that bible thumpers still have a vote in this country. And it’s not just the dyed in the wool fanboys that shoehorn religion into every hole of the evolutionary process. It’s also the people who pay homage for a single hour each week. It’s ditzily unreal. In protest, I’ve decided to camp out at the following location:
And set up a booth, pamphlets and all, promoting the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a palatable alternative to their “God.” My scam is no more shamelessly invented. It’s akin to intellectual high treason, to steal a term. And yet, I can’t overlook the economic genius of the church. As a raging capitalist, I appreciate the fact that the church is simply polishing the heels of well-heeled people. But to join these milksops in their ill-fated quest for higher understanding in the pages of the Bible? I’d rather eat my hat. Assuming its kosher.
That’s probably enough venting for now. I’ll leave you with these two quotes:
“Some people have views of God that are so broad and flexible that it is inevitable that they will find God wherever they look for him. One hears it said that ‘God is the ultimate’ or ‘God is our better nature’ or ‘God is the universe.’ Of course, like any other word, the word ‘God’ can be given any meaning we like. If you want to say that ‘God is energy,’ then you can find God in a lump of coal.” – Steven Weinberg
“There is in every village a torch – the teacher; and an extinguisher – the priest.” – Victor Hugo
In reality and in all honesty, I delineate between religion and spirituality/higher power. I have no issue with the latter. None. Only the former, organized religion, that naturally assumes your religion is right and the others must be wrong. This is the progressive, twenty first century. Organized religion, like vaginal intercourse, is better left to Amish puritans and luddites.
Side thought, has anyone ever considered bringing the church public via IPO?