That’s the Face Only a Free and Democratic People Can Love

And now something for my alcoholic dog lovers and alcoholic dogs (you know who you are, Irish setters):


Today’s song of the day is Rocket Man by Elton John.  I dedicate this to Kim Jung UNOOOOOO!!!!

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Swamp Ass and Other Wrinkles (i.e., Problems)

Who among you shares my hesitation when it comes to drinking a soda with a label that is cousin to “swamp ass?”  What’s worse, the logo for the swamp ass soda is a pair of nuts.  I think it’s high time that the purveyors of swamp-ass, (praline) nut-cream soda pack it up and retool, per se.  They need the:

And once they finally work on the label and get the nuts off, I consider that a job well done.

If you’re looking for advice on mastering the reverse tuck, just ask Emily:

Did I forget any ball jokes or did I hit on all the low hanging fruit?  (Huh?  Huh?)

Shit!  I have to go, my Uber Tuk Tuk is here.  I’ll leave you with this, a guy who went as LRM for Halloween.  He has one name tag with “little rocket man” and another with “supreme leader.”  This guy has bigger balls than Ellen Pao.  That chick is so spacey – I guarantee you that she was staring straight up at the sky, head cocked back, when she slammed into the glass ceiling…  I’m really hoping that joke didn’t fall flat.

How do you Drown a Hipster? (and Song of the Day)

Throw him in the main stream.

Check it, frozen spicy rice from TJ’s, chicken, tomato soup, goat cheese, and some seasonings.  Make it in bulk and it lasts days!

And for my finance friends boning up on their ampersands and abbreviations:

Nah, candidly, I opened this thing and it was painfully amateur.  I’d rather pinch my nugget pouch in a DVD case than read another page.

Today’s song of the day is Baba O‘Riley by The Ghost of Paul Revere. (The alternative video by the same band is arguably a better sound). LOOK AT THAT VIEW COUNT!  ADMIRE MY APPRECIATION FOR OBSCURE, UNDERGROUND ARTISTS?!?

Hurricane Harvey Grabs Headlines

…and some snatch.  First Donny-T and then this…didn’t Bernie warn us about the billionaire class?

Count it.

With the media and celebrities viciously attacking Handsy Weinstein, I ask you this: who’s the real victim here?

Of course I’m joking.  But, is it really workplace sexual harassment if one participant is more senior than the other?  I don’t know, I’m just asking questions, man.

Now a photo share from our very own Arch Stanton:

Song of the Day (10/12/2017)

AAAAAYYYYYYY-OOOH!!!  This morning, someone brought the following article to my attention:

He mentioned that the fire chief and his men were pulling straws to see who could go fight the fire.  I can imagine the firefighters now.

No, in all fairness, these pot wildfires are no laughing matter and the men and women going in there are right to be hesitant to rush in.  Like Bonnie Tyler, we need a hero.  We need a fire chief who’s not afraid to brave the carbon monoxide and THC fumes.  We need

Today’s song of the day is I Don’t Like by Chief Keef.

Up Late Writing a CIM?

You’re just 10mg of addy away from that vFINAL!

Also, this two minute video (Everyone’s Upstairs Neighbor) should be required reading for all boys and girls entering the multi family housing world.  What shouldn’t be required reading, yet was required for a roommate back in my colleeeeege years:

Brought to you by the labor movement.  Like any movement, it smells a little funny at first but then rapidly turns to shit.

Song of the Day (10/10/2017) x Los Dos

Ah, October 10th.  Happy ten, ten, ten, twenty on yo titties, bitch.  Today’s song of the day is Rack City by Tyga.  Shout out to Mr. Rose.

However, after two hours of slamming my clam hammer balls deep into an industry overview, I realized that today’s song of the day has to be Back Dat Azz Up by Juvenile.  Brought to you by the definitely Americans and certainly not Indians good people at IBISWorld:

Where they missed a real opportunity to show rather than tell:

I came across this photo of a sandwich while doing market research at work.  Who else can lift a wet towel right now?