Stop the Fucking Presses…

WE MISSED SOMETHING BIG:

And if that isn’t enough to put papers in hands, then you’ve got to appreciate this helpful insight:

I’m coining it right here and right now: snowflake journalism. Enjoy it before it gets popular…

HEY GUYS! Want to know the sort of innovative projects that your tax dollars are supporting?

The Ohio Department of Trans-Deportation, woah, “Freudian slip” (I hear these go for $50 down on the seedy TS side of town), Transportation has decided that smartphone-wielding consumers can use an app that provides a GPS/map with all sorts of neat functionality like identifying traffic, estimating delay times, and re-routing. Um. Ohio. PIIIIIISSST. Come here a second.

THE LARGEST TECH COMPANIES IN THE WORLD HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE BEFORE LEBRON PUT YOUR DICK-SNEEZE, SHIT-UGLY STATE BORDERS ON THE MAP. I’d threaten to send in The Donald to drain your swamp but we’d just end up with another Kentucky/Tennessee.

Finally, I was passing through Columbia City last week and saw their beautiful water tower:

Impressive, right? Feeling hungry? Feeling like a burger and fries? Maybe a Diet Coke? Maybe it’s because the city ripped off White Castle’s logo:

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