Peyton Manning, Legend

Just a random collection of videos from arguably the greatest football player AND entertainer of all time.  You’ll surely appreciate these:

  1. Manning Enjoying New Retirement Home
  2. Peyton Manning Opening Monologue at ESPYs 2017
  3. Peyton’s Super Bowl Party Gone Bad
  4. SNL Digital Short: United Way – SNL
  5. Peyton Manning Commercials Compilation NFL Ads (note that YouTube often removes the ad compilation videos so you may have to search for this, should the link not work).

Watch them, well worth your time!


Random Bidtits / Song of the Day (1/24/2018)

What’s up, what’s up, WHAT’S UP!  To all the new followers, thank you for joining this mediocre blog!  To all the people who viewed the site and decided not to follow, fuck you, I hope you slam your nugget pouch in a DVD case.

Let’s get this party started with a little music, shall we?  I highly, HIGHLY encourage you to watch the following video as it’s only a minute long and features North Korea’s finest, strutting their stuff to Stayin’ Alive by The Bee Gees.  Please watch it.  For my Chick-fil-A fans out there, you’ll enjoy this video and it’s only 90 seconds long.  I recommend you turn the sound down on this one given the commentary is forced and lacking.  Next.  WHERE ARE ALL MY FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF FANS AT?!?  I came across this gem in a Starbucks parking lot:

Abe Frohman

The sausage KING, of Chicago.  Next story.  And I may have shared this one before so please pardon me if that’s the case.  I was traveling last Summer and stumbled across a lake-side restaurant called Kara’s Kountry Kitchen (aka KKK).  Solid food and great scenery.  All the trimmings, all the works.  Just don’t expect to order the Blackened Fish.  Okay, that was racist, but not nearly as racist as this:


Aggressive sign, especially for the healthcare sector.  But as Stewie said, it’s good to have land.  As you can see, I spent a night in the hospital and the hot water heater was massive!  Nice not running out of hot water, although I did have to reduce the temperature as I was particularly gassy that evening and the the humidity was wafting the funk in a most unpleasant fashion.  Word to the wise: always take cold, no-humidity showers when your busts stink like cow ass.  This was partially my fault: I had nasty gas and explosive runs after a day spent munching on hospital food.  To quote my bad-hombre Peachy Carnehan, I was shitting out tomorrow’s breakfast, tonight.

I’ll leave everyone with a final thought as they watch the North Korean Bee Gees song for the fourth time: many women (I’m including Ellen Pao in this bucket) will be quick to tell you that they make ~77 cents to the dollar for equivalent male work.  Let’s dispel with this fiction that women don’t know what they’re doing.  They know exactly what they’re doing.  They’re undergoing a systematic effort to change workplace culture and make the office more like the rest of the world.  To be clear, this 77% statistic IS FOR ALL WOMEN ACROSS ALL JOBS AND FAILS TO ACCOUNT FOR DIFFERENCES IN POSITION OR TITLE.  One could point out that 16 year olds should make the same argument as their demographic makes considerably less than other peer groups.  For the same job and same title, women make ~4% less than men.

And how do I live with myself knowing this fact to be true?  Well, in a normally functioning society in equilibrium, people are paid (the “reward” or “return”) based on their contribution to the firm, accounting for the chance that they’ll leave and take with them these skills after significant financial investment by the employing firm (the “risk”).  Women carry more risk given there’s an established history of having children (yes, men also carry this risk, albeit to a smaller degree based on empirical evidence) and leaving an employer after the firm has made a significant investment in the employee.  But in life, EXPECTED RETURN IS PRICED BASED ON ANTICIPATED RISK.  I’m ALL for equality within a logical, economic framework.  But one could argue that if women want to make 100 cents on the male dollar, they should be willing to get spayed following the interview.  Game.  Set.  Match.

Now I’m off to play with those fuzzy yellow balls.

Song of the Day (12/19/2017)

Today’s song de la dia is Coming Back to Life by Pink Floyd. Do I have any Alex Trebek fans in the house?

I’ve been far too accommodating to my fellow capitalists. And just like Trebek and his ball, perhaps it’s time I give my commie readers the presidential treatment. It’s Arthur!Arthur’s right about that! Speaking of which, I recently worked with a client in a merger where there were concerns that it would not pass the Herfindahl-Hirschman concentration (oh god…) test. When the regulator asked if I seriously thought I’d close the deal, I looked him in the eye, and I said IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT, MEIN FÜHRER!!!


Song of the Day (12/16/2017)

Sup, brah! Today’s song of the day is…so-so in terms of the actual song…but the old cowboy is FUCKING EPIC! It’s Big Enough by Kirin J Callinan. If time is in short supply, go directly to minute 1:45. He wrote us this bigggg sexy hook that he knows we’re really gonna dig. And if you don’t have time for the full video, here’s a 30 second clip for your (re)viewing pleasure. Reminds me of the cat herding commercial from EDS (who?).

What’s that? Not entertained by my malodorous bullshit? Well then check out the following photo:

Looks like the City of Chicago Transportation Department has partnered with Mirena, maker of intrauterine devices (IUDs). That’s the black version.

Keeping the car theme going, check out these mofos:

White socks and dad jeans aside, these puppies are hot, Hot, HOT! Next is a bottle opener that you may or may not recognize:

Come on, tell me you get it. It’s an obscure movie. Rachel Weisz. Brendan Fraser. You must have this by now. Brendan narrows it down to what, two movies?

Well, I’m off to take the dog to the bark park to see if I can help him get some strange. After that, it’s back home where I’m gifting a friend an Echo for Christmas. It’s funny, I sort of feel like we gave Arianna Huffington an echo when we let another skirt onto the Board at Das Über.

Speaking of which. Start your timers…how many years before the “accused” overcome all of this adversity, return to the workforce, and become Time’s Man of the Year?

And finally, a great series of texts from a couple of weeks ago:


Ricky Bobby Meets Bobby Mugabe / Song of the Day (11/20/2017)

Today’s song of the day is a shout-out to the nineties, a time when, confusingly enough, presidential rape culture was out and Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton was in (source: 105th United States Congress). It’s Ghetto Supastar by Pras.

Many of you are familiar with the character of Ricky Bobby in Will Ferrell’s Talladega Nights:

Now what you may not know, may surprise you. In yesteryear, Ricky Bobby would ride with his homeboy, Bobby Mugabe. Today, it may all seem like ancient lore, but Bobby Mugabe still carries the remnants of his…checkered past:

You can’t escape your heritage, Bobby Mugabe:

It’s in your blood! Speaking of tradition, who’s excited for some turkey and stuffing this holiday? Nahhh. Fuck it. Turkey is consistently dry and tastes like dog shit, but, it’s the holidays, so

Well, I’m off to look at vacation packages. Oh shit! Half off on cruises from New Orleans to Puerto Rico…and following hurricanes Nate and Maria, I’m guessing you can find a cruise offering door-to-door service… or is that not funny yet?

And finally, I found the following license plate which reminded me of the FPS Doug video from back in the day:

Congratulations! You’ve put up with my locker room talk for an entire posting! A second song of the day is Moving Mountains by The Brevet.

May The Reagan be with you.


Article: Just to Be Clear, the Witch-King of Angnar was an Insignificant Volunteer in the Great Army of the Dark Lord Sauron

Here’s the link but the story is below:

Thank you for joining us today, Middle-earth media. I’d like to start today’s briefing by addressing the recent news of the Witch-King’s indictment. The Witch-King of Angmar was an extremely minor cog within the Ringwraith organization and has never had, nor currently has, a relationship with Lord Sauron. Despite all of the evidence to the contrary, please believe me when I say the Witch-King was basically an unpaid summer intern in Mordor during last year’s campaign.

Even though he and the other Ringwraiths are notoriously enslaved to the Nine Rings that Sauron holds in his possession, the Witch-King briefly advised the Dark Lord under his own free will. Similarly, I am giving this briefing of my own free will. Trust me, I am not currently trapped in a prison of my own mind.

The Witch-King was only ever present for one meeting and didn’t open his mouth to talk once during it. Technically, he doesn’t have a mouth anymore ever since he was turned into a scary, immortal nightmare creature. The recent charges filed against him have nothing to do with Lord Sauron’s extremely successful path to lordship, so stop searching for a connection between those two things. On that note, also stop bringing up the photograph of the Dark Lord and the Witch-King singing a karaoke duet together at the annual Mordor Christmas party. That photo is being taken completely out of context. There’s nothing wrong with two very casual acquaintances singing “I Got You Babe” together.

While the Nazgûl are technically the chief servants of the Dark Lord, the Witch-King’s involvement in that committee was purely advisory and hobby-like. He only attended one raid and barely participated. Sure, after the Nazgûl attacked Weathertop, several hobbits gave firsthand accounts of the Witch-King playing an active leadership role within the Ringwraiths at the time, but those are just lies propagated to weaken our evil party. So what if the Witch-King yelled, “I’m doing this for my Dark Lord!” as he stabbed Frodo Baggins with his Morgul-blade? He could’ve been talking about any number of Dark Lords. Leave Sauron out of this.

There’s simply no significance to the Witch-King’s position on Sauron’s most trusted advisory council. He was an insignificant volunteer. It’s not like the Witch-King is forever bound to the power of the One Ring and forced to be a servant under the complete dominion of Lord Sauron for all of eternity. What would give you that idea? Yes, he has served under Sauron for over 4,000 years, but that’s hardly any time at all in the grand scheme of things. He was just one in a large number of undead, evil consultants that have worked with the Dark Lord over time.

The two of them are barely even acquaintances! Plenty of folks have entered the realm of shadows over the years, it’s silly to say Lord Sauron has direct relationships with them all. He’s a very busy evil presence and has done an amazing job pushing the Middle-earth economy to new heights. The real news today should be Sauron’s impending tax plan, which will lower taxes for all rich hobbits and elves.

Today’s announcement has nothing to do with the Dark Lord. Please just let our power-hungry, malevolent god-king continue to shroud the world in darkness. He has taken political advice from millions of dark wizards, orcs, goblins, variags, and uruks. Just because the recently indicted Witch-King also happens be a known collaborator of Sauron doesn’t mean there’s anything suspicious going on here. At any rate, the real scandal, as we’ve said several times before, has nothing to do with the Witch-King. The real scandal is the Fellowship’s collusion with Saruman the White, which the left-wing media still refuses to report on.


How do you Drown a Hipster? (and Song of the Day)

Throw him in the main stream.

Check it, frozen spicy rice from TJ’s, chicken, tomato soup, goat cheese, and some seasonings.  Make it in bulk and it lasts days!

And for my finance friends boning up on their ampersands and abbreviations:

Nah, candidly, I opened this thing and it was painfully amateur.  I’d rather pinch my nugget pouch in a DVD case than read another page.

Today’s song of the day is Baba O‘Riley by The Ghost of Paul Revere. (The alternative video by the same band is arguably a better sound). LOOK AT THAT VIEW COUNT!  ADMIRE MY APPRECIATION FOR OBSCURE, UNDERGROUND ARTISTS?!?