Hey girl! I was ass-deep in my dryer this weekend, attempting to unfuck the heating element when Alone by Heart came on the speakers. I proceeding to listen to it three more times following that initial orgasm. It’s super catchy so be careful, broheims. Speaking of ass-deep, I have to share a visual shared with me by Mr. Arch Stanton. To quote his oft-majestic prose, my ass has gotten hairy. It’s like someone hid a toupee between two couch cushions. Which reminds me, I need to give my coworker his scissors back.
Many of you know I’m a fan of hot foods. You also know I’m a fan of and quadrennial voter for John Wayne. Without further ado:
Do you like Louisiana style hot sauce? Love the heavy-on-the-vinegar taste? Pick up a bottle of this stuff. Delicious, not at all hot, and goes well on everything other than eggs and breakfast food (better left to Chalula):
Like fire Cheetos? Hot and spicy empty carbs? Don’t let the following name scare you, it’s spicy but not as hot as you’d expect:
And finally, for my fellow Wayne Eastwood 2020 voters, I ordered the fuck out of this over the weekend:
And finally, are you a fan of porn? Do you have a favorite website name? Not site, not genre, not tube aggregator, but site name? Currently, I’m digging:
Without ever visiting the site, you know EXACTLY what you’re getting here. That’s effective, high impact marketing. Doesn’t get much more black and white than that. Speaking of inherently knowing something without explicit details:
I don’t know what language that is (I think it’s French), but I again feel like I know EXACTLY what he saying. It’s inspiring how you don’t need to speak the same language to connect and find love. And in Bill Cosby’s case, they don’t need to speak at all. That one may have gone a bit too far. A tough pill to swallow for you SJW types…but like Bill Cosby, I’ll still verbally dress you down. GOOOOT ‘EM!