Song of the Day (11/8/2018)

Great song!!!!! Today, it’s Magic of Love by Two Steps from Hell. Whether pumping iron, pounding the pavement, or raiding dungeons, this will keep the flow in your mojo. Now for some amusing photos:

I came across another advertisement for my good friend Dick’s wife:

That’s a head scratcher.

Finally, did you know that you can make crystals out of coal and peanut butter? Please watch this amazing 1 minute video: https://youtu.be/kgY_3HwsO04. The scrambled eggs and sparkling water are on fleek!

Advertisements

F SJWs, I’m an ILJW

HEAR YE, HEAR YE.  My body and mind grow weak with the boatload of politically correct rainbows and unicorns shit to which we’ve been subjected for too long.  Today, I announce that I’ll be the first rat down the anchor line.  To quote Rooster Cogburn, “I bow out.”  I guess there’s nothing left to do but claim my own faction within the Tea Partay.  Here and now, I’m coining the phrase: Individual Liberty Justice Warrior.  Write that down.  I’m here to halt the phony baloney nonsense, pack it up, and ship that shit back to Berkeley where it belongs, oozing it’s unproductive juices into the bay.  OH!  Speaking of the gay bay, big news in Tim Cook’s Apple:

unnamed

First things first, you just know that Tim Cook heard “bull” and is already planning on how he and his team can get caught with their pants down around their legs on this partnership.  Second things second, you just know that once Tim Cook gets his hands on Tesla, the market for novelty penis stick shifts is going to take off.  Speaking of which, how ballin is this:

these_shift_knobs_16

If Mr. Cook were to identify with one particular variety of Apple, which would it be?  I’m guessing there would be a special place in his heart for Spartan apples but what about Bloody Ploughman apples?  Or Cockpit Improved apples?  He definitely wouldn’t go for the Pink Sparkle apples.  Maybe the Pixie Crunch variety?  Or the Queen Cox apple or Bundy’s Ringwood apple.  Or the Lord Hindlip.  He’s gay.  You get it.

I should probably bounce but wanted to share some neat resources with my reader.  This website (https://www.thebalance.com/what-is-the-fed-dot-plot-416891) has some great stuff for people dipping their toes in finance.  The background on the Fed dot plot is helpful but there are other articles that are similarly interesting and educational.

Thinking of investing in TSLA or buying one of their sweet rides?  Check out this article titled “Wall Street analysts tore down a Tesla Model 3 and found ‘significant fit & finish issues’ (TSLA)” from Business Insider first.  That shit is a little disconcerting.

I’m getting lazy.  This post was originally intended to be about something else entirely but I thought-masturbated the ILJW concept into existence this evening and had to share it with the world.  Stay hungry, hombres.

Song of the Day (8/28/2018)

Salaam and good evening to you. I’m gonna pull on your coat with a good one today – it’s Ramblin’ Man by The Allman Brothers Band. Super catchy. Now, some delicious food and disgusting drink to whet your whistle:

I tried the pizza chips…they tasted like pizza. Still waiting to dive into the jalapeño pooper chips. As for the drink, I doubt I’ll ever be willing to try that shit after slamming Four Lokos so many years ago (back during the original formula).

Also! Meet the new CEO of Ben and Jerry’s. He’s exactly what you’d expect…if you assumed that Ben and Jerry’s is some socially conscious, left leaning social justice warrior and didn’t know that it’s actually owned by Unilever, which has been polluting the world with its rapacious, win at any cost brand of capitalism since you slid out of your mammy’s ass. Well, here’s your new boy:

Oh shit! Is he going to get me for libel? He’s probably sitting there, reading my blog, thinking “I need to sue.” He wouldn’t be the only one…

And finally, this was forwarded to me by the baddest of bad hombres:

And truly finally. Did Columbus have a first mate named “Indigenous Peoples?”

Tuesday’s with the Disillusioned Dilettante. Write that down.

Song of the Day (8/8/2018)

I know it’s Wednesday, but:

Today’s EXCELLENT, OVER THE TOP CATCHY song of the day is Further On by Bronze Radio Return. Listen to it through. Don’t confuse this with Führer On by Adolf Ft. The Jeffersons. Sorry if that was a little on the nose – I’m sitting at work, popping out the world’s hardest turd. A true diamond dump, this thing has absolutely NO give. Rock hard. This turd is literally the last thing you want falling in the footwell and rolling behind the brake pedal. I take good poos.

I don’t understand the problem. I’ve been eating Whole Foods’ air-chilled chicken (below) but the poltergeist in my lower intestine remains.

Finally, a coworker brought in this Ukrainian crepes which are ON FLEEK. Home-made jam from her garden and it also has home-grown flower pedals that gave the crepe an almost surreal taste. Try some the next time you’re in Russia (née Ukraine).

Finally, an amusing license plate:

“I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the hell they please.” – John Wayne

Song of the Day (6/25/2018)

Hey girl! I was ass-deep in my dryer this weekend, attempting to unfuck the heating element when Alone by Heart came on the speakers. I proceeding to listen to it three more times following that initial orgasm. It’s super catchy so be careful, broheims. Speaking of ass-deep, I have to share a visual shared with me by Mr. Arch Stanton. To quote his oft-majestic prose, my ass has gotten hairy. It’s like someone hid a toupee between two couch cushions. Which reminds me, I need to give my coworker his scissors back.

Many of you know I’m a fan of hot foods. You also know I’m a fan of and quadrennial voter for John Wayne. Without further ado:

Do you like Louisiana style hot sauce? Love the heavy-on-the-vinegar taste? Pick up a bottle of this stuff. Delicious, not at all hot, and goes well on everything other than eggs and breakfast food (better left to Chalula):

Like fire Cheetos? Hot and spicy empty carbs? Don’t let the following name scare you, it’s spicy but not as hot as you’d expect:

And finally, for my fellow Wayne Eastwood 2020 voters, I ordered the fuck out of this over the weekend:

And finally, are you a fan of porn? Do you have a favorite website name? Not site, not genre, not tube aggregator, but site name? Currently, I’m digging:

Without ever visiting the site, you know EXACTLY what you’re getting here. That’s effective, high impact marketing. Doesn’t get much more black and white than that. Speaking of inherently knowing something without explicit details:

I don’t know what language that is (I think it’s French), but I again feel like I know EXACTLY what he saying. It’s inspiring how you don’t need to speak the same language to connect and find love. And in Bill Cosby’s case, they don’t need to speak at all. That one may have gone a bit too far. A tough pill to swallow for you SJW types…but like Bill Cosby, I’ll still verbally dress you down. GOOOOT ‘EM!

Can You Smell What the Dilettante is Cookin’?

As a select few of you know, I’m a superb chef and artist of the kitchen when I’m not aggressively leafing through materials at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. I recently crafted the following:

Sweet potato, Greek yogurt, feta cheese, corn-based salsa, Valentina hot sauce, baby, YOU GOT A STEW GOIN!

For those of you not familiar with my girl Valentina, she’s a stone-cold Fox from south of the wall. Absolutely delicious in every way and only $1.79/bottle in a relatively expensive area.

And finally, no introduction needed on the following:

This posting is brought to you by Chesterfield sin-sticks, buy the beautiful Christmas-card carton!