Ahhhhh salaam and good evening to you, my dear friends (particularly relevant given this recent find:)
Man, I miss Robin Williams’ genie but I’m glad to see this American is repping well with his clever Beer shirt bought in the Kohl’s teenage boys section. Anyway, today’s song of the day is Daddy’s Gotta go to Work by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I feel like one of Reagan’s non-pigment-lacking victims in the 1980s…I’m getting rip roaring high on The Rock. Speaking of which, don’t you absolutely adore this shirt:
Apologies that the photo is on a bit of a slant. Speaking of which, if you’re bored with the same old Spankwire and Pornhub:
Never gets old. And finally, the women’s march. I made a bet with someone the day after the march (back in January if you’ve forgotten about it) that within 14 days, the media will have dropped the coverage entirely and the world will forget about what took place that day. Yes, there was the strike in March, but with that lone exception, the world has moved on and forgotten about the plight of the penis-lacking proletariat. One reason: the cause didn’t have a unified, coherent message. I went to their website in late January, read the main page three times and still couldn’t figure out what the fuck their intended message meant. The NRA is successful because they’ve rallied millions of people behind ONE SINGLE ISSUE. It’s basic, the people know what they’re fighting for, and the message is beyond coherent. You read the women’s march website and its a fucking patchwork of democratic causes that, although I support them, are scattered haphazardly not unlike Ellen Pao throwing darts at a newspaper figuring out which company she’ll sue next. If they’d named the event “The March for Equality” there’d be no confusion and they wouldn’t ALIENATE HALF OF THEIR POTENTIAL SUPPORTERS, fucking morons. They took a bunch of issues applicable to everyone…then excluded half of their base by hurling bullshit epithets at white men (ummmm, the very people in positions of power with the ability to enact social change). It’s akin to the truck drivers in 2008, going 15 MPH on the highway in some misguided protest of high prices at the pump. They’re blocking every other driver on the road, thereby alienating THE VERY PEOPLE who would most likely support them. Top. Men. Did you know that the women’s march has an app? A phone app. For your phone. Seriously…
Oh, and their causes which they clearly ripped from the Democratic Party:
Well, sorry for the rant. I’m fully supportive of equality but my gosh, they’re about as effective as Trump pushing anything that rhymes with “legislation.” Well I’m off to work on my taxes following a six month extension earlier this year. Wonder if I can claim the federal government as a dependent on my returns.
Annyong! WOOOOO!!!! Today’s song of the day is a great one so buckle up, buckaroo. It’s Flashdance What a Feeling by Irene Cara. The woman who’s so nice, they named her twice. Moving right along. I have a personal trainer friend who spends his days walking around the gym, incessantly talking about “laying pipe,” even going so far as sharing this mantra with the female patrons/teaming masses. Apparently, even “laying pipe” was too subtle for Matt:
Speaking of easy women (and fast cars), my Flyin’ Hawaiian was ALL too excited to listen to this ‘Rari purr:
She’s a real slut for Ferrari but then again, so am I. Viva la Ferrari 458!!! Somewhat related, I passed a license plate last night that was DRYPOWDR. My erection grew three sizes that day. That’s all for today. Though I did come across this license plate holder from Sandi in Illinois (trigger alert: it’s a Kia):
I’ll let everyone get back to their news and Trumpmania. Donald Trump…putting the “panic” back in Hispanic.
Today’s song of the day is Bitch Better Have my Money by Rihanna. Now for some entertaining/informative observations from the last few days:
1). Came across a urinal with an interesting print on the bottom. There’s no way (“you’re as bad at hockey as you are at golf” – Bob Barker) this design is intentional but it doesn’t take much stretch of the imagination to see where I’m going with this:
2). You all know my opinion on indoctrination, hypocrisy, and religion. Well there’s not much of the first two here, but this has to be one of the best names for a religious-affiliated, FOR- PROFIT store:
3). Stumbled across two adult websites with the most amazing themes: 1) Industry Invaders and 2) Fake Hospital. To quote Judge Smails from Caddyshack, top notch, TOP NOOOOTCH! Speaking of which, came across this a few weeks ago:
4). Found a company with a really interesting logo; they have a cock and a “number 2” popping out of their barn door. Sounds messy.
5). This. Bitch. This woman – La Sha (for short? For long? Now for hire?) – should be thrown in a crate and shipped off to North Korea like the pond scum that she is. Here’s the article I am referencing and here are the photos in case you miss it:
I’m not going to waste my time ripping her apart – she’s not worth it. But, if the premise of this article and the way this worthless sack of shit presents herself to the world pisses you off, this 8 minute video is well worth your time. The video solely discusses this article and deconstructs in a way that a child, although apparently not La Sha, can understand. Put her on the next ship to North Korea and let her fend for herself.
6). When was the last time you saw a middle aged Jew in a button down and sport coat at a coffee shop reading XX for Dummies? Well now you have:
7). Ending on a positive note. How amazing is this technology. This is so baller!
I was out motoring when an oldie from 1982 came on that I felt I needed to share with my reader(s, if you count me): it’s Goodbye to You by Scandal. The music video is incredible so take the time to watch it. I’m waiting for the day this gets released on Guitar Hero or Rock Band because holy cow is this catchy. I’m also waiting for the light-hearted cover by Mo Thugs:
Surely the Compton community has fond memories of Reagan’s 1980s. Speaking of which, I spotted two of my favorite things on my way to my hotel this week:
Speaking of hotel stays, I have a message for the front desk and the room cleaning staff: I don’t care if I’m only staying one night, one and a half rolls of TP is a BIG ask by management. I’d wipe my gooch with the comforter if I didn’t think I’d get pregnant.
Fortunately I was able to avert crisis by stopping at a McDonalds to pinch off a fresh loaf. The men’s and women’s rooms only had one stall each and both had a line so I was told to use the mixed bathroom located directly next to the seating area. After downing four pills of senna lax that morning, I had serious concerns that the tectonic tremors pushing their way through my colon would be heard by innocent diners sitting 7 to 8 feet away from my trembling anus. I felt my rectum violently shifting and had real concerns that the noises would easily penetrate the two inch door gap at the floor…but as fate would have it, the gods were smiling upon me that day. There was no flatulence of which to speak…it was all liquid! Literally pissing out of my ass – and nary a suspicion or eyebrow raised. They thought I was peeing! It seems my free trucker’s New Testament was a blessing:
And finally, my Arrested Development reference for the day:
Happy Friday! Today, we celebrate Comey’s testimony and Trump’s victory over democracy, so the song of the day is some good old fashioned pump-up music. It’s Do You Love Me by The Contours. Your darling Disillusioned Dilettante was camping in Southeastern Ohio last week and came across some not-so progressive sites:
And a new slogan for the Duke lacrosse team:
It’s North Carolina so feel free to keep the slogan AND the horse-fucker.
Meanwhile, Illinois residents actually have their shit together:
Some good news for Subway fans as well as for Subway spokesmen not allowed within 25 yards of children in the restaurant:
And finally, something that’s actually pretty neat. For my millionaire friends shopping at Pier 1:
No one liked my Robin Hood Men in Tights reference in that last post? For shame. How obscure do you need me to get?!? My references are spot on, guys. Come on!
But the greater shame lies in me fucking up the song on the 73rd anniversary of D-Day. Today’s song of the day is in dedication to all those who serve and protect the freedoms and liberties that we enjoy and love so much. It’s A Soldier’s Pledge by Ronald Reagan.
Today’s song of the day is If You Leave by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. Beyond that, I saw my first ever Bugatti Veyron last week:
That’s a 16 cylinder, 1,000+ HP car that’ll burn through its entire 26 gallon gas tank in approximately 12 minutes at top speed (254 MPH). I’m so hard right now. Not only did I see the car, I touched it…
Well, who wants to get nerdy and play some HOTS? I took some senna lax and just pooped so probably good to squeeze in a 25 minute game.