Pascal’s Wager Paying Off Big League!!!

The driver of this Toyota Avalon really pulled a fast one on the old man upstairs!

This man wagered…wisely. 

Also, disregard the Flyin’ Hawaiian on my dash.  She serves as a constant reminder of my white privilege.

Speaking of cars facts, I guarantee you this guy insists on driving a stick:

And finally, this man has been lining the pockets of his shareholders for years…KA-CHINGGGGG!!!

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Song of the Day (4/16/2017) and Arrested Development/Reagan

Happy Easter/Passover everyone!  This week, we take a moment to remember a final supper, a betrayal, and a beard (and the man beneath it) that rose from the ashes postmortem (how’s my Latin?  Do I need to go back to the Roman Catholic Church and do some boning up?).

I’m not quite sure how JC rose from the dead – he really pulled a rabbit out of his ass, and while I have never pulled a rabbit out of my own, I have definitely pulled out my fair share of hares.  Write that down.

Today’s song of the day is May we All by Florida Georgia Line.  Some easy listening for you while you’re searching for eggs, either in your backyard or in your wife.  Your Sunday is your business.

Obligatory Arrested Development references:

…dot com.

…climb that wall, homo!

This blog is looking more and more like it should just be an instagram account; however, fuck tech savvy millennials.  I was at a friend’s parents’ house a few weeks ago – the mother works as a political correspondent for Fox News (fingers crossed she gets a big payday from Bill “Fuck it, we’ll do it live” O’Reilly) – and I came across this epic shrine to Ronnie:

Next.  I walked through an estate sale yesterday and came across the best piece of marketing of all time:

Whatever happened to Amoco?  Ohhhhh, I know, it was swallowed up by BP (no joke).  I haven’t heard of BP since that big oil spill in the gulf.  Wonder what they’re up to these days

we’re sorry.

Alrighty!  Time to go eat dinner, happy Easter/Passover everyone!

(Photo above from Brooklyn last week.  As someone said, when Brooklyn is sending their people into Manhattan, they’re not sending their best).

Today’s bad taste joke of the day comes from a close family member and all around funny guy: I was at the church the other day and the Father was complaining that while the nativity scene out front was beautiful, the local youth kept on stealing the baby Jesus.  Easy fix, I told the priest that I could probably find four roman centurions to nail it down.

Stay thirsty, mis amigos. 

A Quick Vent on Organized Religion

But first.  Read a good one today:  Two jews find out that Hitler walks past a certain alley every morning at 8am.  So they decide to wait in the alley and kill Hitler and save the world.  They get to this alley at 5am and wait…6am…they wait.  7am…they wait.  8am…still no Hitler.  So they decide to wait a bit more.  9am…11am…2pm…4pm…  At this point one turns to the other and says, “I hope he’s okay!”

I like that one – will use it from now on.  These not-terribly-offensive jokes are always worth a hearty shekel.

Separately, I came across the following sign last weekend in America’s heartland.

I was SO FUCKING tempted to knock on their front door and tell them of the time when a close friend was rolling joints in a hotel room, ran out of rolling papers, and proceeded to rip a page from the Bible for his next joint.  That’s a true story.

I’m miffed, no, livid, that bible thumpers still have a vote in this country.  And it’s not just the dyed in the wool fanboys that shoehorn religion into every hole of the evolutionary process.  It’s also the people who pay homage for a single hour each week.  It’s ditzily unreal.  In protest, I’ve decided to camp out at the following location:

And set up a booth, pamphlets and all, promoting the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a palatable alternative to their “God.”  My scam is no more shamelessly invented.  It’s akin to intellectual high treason, to steal a term.  And yet, I can’t overlook the economic genius of the church.  As a raging capitalist, I appreciate the fact that the church is simply polishing the heels of well-heeled people.  But to join these milksops in their ill-fated quest for higher understanding in the pages of the Bible?  I’d rather eat my hat.  Assuming its kosher.

That’s probably enough venting for now.  I’ll leave you with these two quotes:

“Some people have views of God that are so broad and flexible that it is inevitable that they will find God wherever they look for him. One hears it said that ‘God is the ultimate’ or ‘God is our better nature’ or ‘God is the universe.’ Of course, like any other word, the word ‘God’ can be given any meaning we like. If you want to say that ‘God is energy,’ then you can find God in a lump of coal.” – Steven Weinberg

“There is in every village a torch – the teacher; and an extinguisher – the priest.” – Victor Hugo

In reality and in all honesty, I delineate between religion and spirituality/higher power.  I have no issue with the latter.  None.  Only the former, organized religion, that naturally assumes your religion is right and the others must be wrong.  This is the progressive, twenty first century.  Organized religion, like vaginal intercourse, is better left to Amish puritans and luddites.

Side thought, has anyone ever considered bringing the church public via IPO?

Russell’s Teapot

Some of you may be familiar.  Some of you may not.  The following is taken from “Is There a God?” by Bertrand Russell (commissioned by, but never published in, Illustrated Magazine, in 1952).

“Many orthodox people speak as though it were the business of sceptics to disprove received dogmas rather than of dogmatists to prove them. This is, of course, a mistake. If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.”

The Original Consecration

Take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is His Body, which will be given up for you… Take this, all of you, and drink from it, for this is the offering of His Meat, the Meat of the new and eternal covenant which will be pulled out for you and for many for the forgiveness of political and economic ignorance. Do this in memory of Him.

Reagan be praised.