Song of the Day (12/16/2017)

Sup, brah! Today’s song of the day is…so-so in terms of the actual song…but the old cowboy is FUCKING EPIC! It’s Big Enough by Kirin J Callinan. If time is in short supply, go directly to minute 1:45. He wrote us this bigggg sexy hook that he knows we’re really gonna dig. And if you don’t have time for the full video, here’s a 30 second clip for your (re)viewing pleasure. Reminds me of the cat herding commercial from EDS (who?).

What’s that? Not entertained by my malodorous bullshit? Well then check out the following photo:

Looks like the City of Chicago Transportation Department has partnered with Mirena, maker of intrauterine devices (IUDs). That’s the black version.

Keeping the car theme going, check out these mofos:

White socks and dad jeans aside, these puppies are hot, Hot, HOT! Next is a bottle opener that you may or may not recognize:

Come on, tell me you get it. It’s an obscure movie. Rachel Weisz. Brendan Fraser. You must have this by now. Brendan narrows it down to what, two movies?

Well, I’m off to take the dog to the bark park to see if I can help him get some strange. After that, it’s back home where I’m gifting a friend an Echo for Christmas. It’s funny, I sort of feel like we gave Arianna Huffington an echo when we let another skirt onto the Board at Das Über.

Speaking of which. Start your timers…how many years before the “accused” overcome all of this adversity, return to the workforce, and become Time’s Man of the Year?

And finally, a great series of texts from a couple of weeks ago:

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Women and the Insurance Industry

Gooooooood MORNING MIDDLE AMERICAAAAA!!!!! Short posting today. The following is a great quote (although the sperm part is cringeworthy) from Erick Gray:

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

Pushing right along here. Making great time! The following is a terrific diagram of the pharma cash flow process:

Stay thirsty, mis amigos. I’ll be back when Bitcoin hits $100,000 or $100…whichever comes first.

The Flow Show…Feasting on TIPS!!!

I don’t really have anything to add here.  Is there too much liquidity in the pipeline…and customers need to eat the finished goods?  Do auditors really want to see their bonded positions?  Let’s talk about TIP inflows…well sound the horn!  (If you need to, don’t Google this one).  BofA:Merrill Lynch = Bull:Bear?  Never mind, we’re done here, WE’RE DONE HERE!

Up to this point, the entire blog has been written on a mobile phone (Sent from my tiny keyboard, please excuse any grammatical errors…as my hands type like a 7 year old’s on a keyboard assembled by a 5 year old’s).  However, I may from time to time, going forward, from now on, occasionally use a keyboard and monitor as my hammer and sickle.  Forgive me Reagan, some men just want to see the world burn.

For those of you who prefer a more wholesome, cleaner finish to the posting, please enjoy I Can’t Help Myself by The Four Tops.

This is your last chance.  After this…there is no turning back.  You take the oldies song, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe…whatever you want to believe.  You take the photograph of the gratuitous and organically thriving fecal matter, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes…

Jackson.  Fucking.  Pollock.

You best be STOKED that I didn’t take an iPhone “Live Photo” of this thing because it was literally CRAWLING up the fucking porcelain.  It took Adam 3.8 BILLION years to climb out of the primordial soup, slop up onto land, and fully erect.  Based on third party observation of the bathroom door, it took this thing fewer than 15 MINUTES to transcend chemosynthesis entirely, develop an advanced set of lungs with exceedingly efficient oxygen-for-carbon dioxide exchange, and aggressively spring from the murk with reckless abandon.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Shitter was full.

Ricky Bobby Meets Bobby Mugabe / Song of the Day (11/20/2017)

Today’s song of the day is a shout-out to the nineties, a time when, confusingly enough, presidential rape culture was out and Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton was in (source: 105th United States Congress). It’s Ghetto Supastar by Pras.

Many of you are familiar with the character of Ricky Bobby in Will Ferrell’s Talladega Nights:

Now what you may not know, may surprise you. In yesteryear, Ricky Bobby would ride with his homeboy, Bobby Mugabe. Today, it may all seem like ancient lore, but Bobby Mugabe still carries the remnants of his…checkered past:

You can’t escape your heritage, Bobby Mugabe:

It’s in your blood! Speaking of tradition, who’s excited for some turkey and stuffing this holiday? Nahhh. Fuck it. Turkey is consistently dry and tastes like dog shit, but, it’s the holidays, so

Well, I’m off to look at vacation packages. Oh shit! Half off on cruises from New Orleans to Puerto Rico…and following hurricanes Nate and Maria, I’m guessing you can find a cruise offering door-to-door service… or is that not funny yet?

And finally, I found the following license plate which reminded me of the FPS Doug video from back in the day:

Congratulations! You’ve put up with my locker room talk for an entire posting! A second song of the day is Moving Mountains by The Brevet.

May The Reagan be with you.

Song of the Day (11/18/2017)

hey Hey HEY! I may have used this before but it’s a good one – today’s song of the day is Tunnel of Love by the Dire Straits. Unlike the Dire Straits love tunnel, which has seen little action since it’s release, Lynn Tilton’s has been on full display for pub(l)ic consumption. The section of readership knowledgeable on finance will be familiar with her antics. Here’s a photo for the rest of you:

Contrary to your initial reactions, this chick is all woman. Although her Wikipedia page raises some concerns on the matter:

I’m not so sure I’m ready to accept “TransCare” from the likes of Lynn (Lance?) Tilton. She’s a shifty one. When the SEC brought her in for questioning, it took four guys to finger her in the lineup. Imagine Tilton falling back into a pile of produce:

To steal a term from a close amigo, I’m loath to be the one to find the Sacajawea in Tilton’s canoe. If you do end up hopping into that monoxylon, remember to

And finally. I give you the greatest gift of all…American Flag contact lenses.

BACK THE FUCK OFF. She’s spoken for. Problem is… she’s stuck in the 1940’s and making me use a diaphragm. I keep arguing for a different contraceptive but I feel like I’m just banging my head against the wall. Write that down. Well that’s it for tonight, I’m off to buy the worlds trashiest/most baller couch:

You See That New Movie, “Constipation?”

No? That’s because it never came out! ZINGGGGG.

Here are two photos I found amusing:

And for my finance friends in media M&A, I found a synergistic opportunity for the Trump Corp. to expand into the music industry with literally zero rebranding effort needed:

Closing deals, broseph. And for my hombres doing hard time for white collar crimes, here’s an epic license plate for ya:

HOOOOOOOCH!!!