Came across the following paper towel dispenser and reminded me of a GREAT Jim Jefferies bit.
Some of you may be familiar. Some of you may not. The following is taken from “Is There a God?” by Bertrand Russell (commissioned by, but never published in, Illustrated Magazine, in 1952).
“Many orthodox people speak as though it were the business of sceptics to disprove received dogmas rather than of dogmatists to prove them. This is, of course, a mistake. If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.”
Just a quote and clip to brighten everyone’s day. Also, wish your National Park System a happy 100th hatch day!
Fuck Nelly (Michael Bluth? There’s a Nellie waiting for you at the end of the bar.) Furtado and her misandrist bullshit.
Gee wiz, with a narcissistic, overly aggressive anti-male message like that, she’d have to stay attractive. Ope, OHHHHH SHITTT!!!!
I’ve never seen someone forced to enter Grauman’s Chinese Theatre one hip(po) at a time. That ass. It looks like a couple of hippos wrestling under a circus tent. I didn’t realize the “Man” in Maneater was a euphemism for craft service. I gotta steal one from Rodney here: she’s so fat, every time she wears high heals she strikes oil. Hopefully that’s the end of it. Then BOOM!!!!
“The lion is most handsome when looking for food” – Rumi. Nelly the Belly must have two-carat diamonds oozing out of her pores (A million fucking diamonds!) and portraits of John Stamos dropping from her anus.
Nelly could stand to learn a thing or two from Chestie, who seems to have fully grasped life’s more salient ambitions. Although, her hip looks more like a plexor (used by doctors to test muscle reflexes) than a part of the human body. I’ll continue to chat with Chest (we have cute little nicknames for each other) and keep readers abreast of any updates.
Take this, all of you, and eat of it, for this is His Body, which will be given up for you… Take this, all of you, and drink from it, for this is the offering of His Meat, the Meat of the new and eternal covenant which will be pulled out for you and for many for the forgiveness of political and economic ignorance. Do this in memory of Him.
Reagan be praised.